tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6044399031300661767.post1418029970803300597..comments2024-03-15T09:29:53.518+00:00Comments on Pink Milk: Completely Unrelated To CrochetPink Milkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05664644078460614884noreply@blogger.comBlogger92125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6044399031300661767.post-21308944532073143932015-03-14T12:43:11.694+00:002015-03-14T12:43:11.694+00:00I've only just now found your blog, but your w...I've only just now found your blog, but your writing in this is powerful in its honesty. You eloquently describe something I think most all of us have felt in one way or another, at some point or another, in our lives. You will find the sparkle you are missing... because you have the courage to admit you want it... and to chase after it! You go, girl! I am cheering you on! blessings ~ tannaTannahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05484104973009411729noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6044399031300661767.post-78379919880768365392015-03-12T18:32:01.613+00:002015-03-12T18:32:01.613+00:00I know the feeling, I thought about going to a con...I know the feeling, I thought about going to a convent as a guest for a week to think it all through. What about joining Girlgiding uk as a leader, my guiding colleagues are like family and have kept me sane for years. Whatever you decide, good luck, it only takes one step to start. xAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10347624400001773114noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6044399031300661767.post-39764668484120931892015-03-09T20:53:36.636+00:002015-03-09T20:53:36.636+00:00Thank youfor sharing your deep and personal feelin...Thank youfor sharing your deep and personal feelings with us. I am sure you are not alone in your current situation, I do hope you can find comfort in the many replies which I am now off to read! Probably will help me in the future too. Good luck with the next chapter, I will be following! :) xAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6044399031300661767.post-72261358122206091232015-03-07T07:42:20.148+00:002015-03-07T07:42:20.148+00:00Hello, I am new to your blog - I found you via a c...Hello, I am new to your blog - I found you via a comment over at Coco Rose Diaries. This is the first of your posts that I have read, but I felt like commenting as it struck a chord with me! I don't have any children, but I have been out of work for the last year and almost-a-half and have been following my husband and his work - all the way to Australia as he transferred over there! So I'm here in Australia, with no Aussy work experience and my qualifications don't count over here. So I'm totally starting from scratch, after a huuuuuge chunk of time of not knowing what to do with myself, and I am really lacking inspiration to make a life plan, and lacking the confidence to follow through on ideas I do have. It's so hard looking for work after a little time out, so I know it must be difficult for you too. But keep at it, read lots of advice - I read articles all the time about how to make good applications and CVs, and eventually you find your best style and you start getting invitations to interview. And I just got my first job offer a couple of days ago, so the hard work pays off! I also day dream a lot, which I find helps me to work out what is important to me, and what directions appeal to me :) Day dreaming also helps me to keep my eye on the longer term goal, which helps me to focus on the short term stuff I need to do to achieve my goals - hooray for day dreaming! If you like the idea of doing a little study as well, check out MOOCs online (https://www.futurelearn.com/courses/categories seemed a good place to me - I've just signed up to one of these) MOOCs are free, and generally seem to last for just a few weeks, so they are not burdensome. No idea if this comment will help, but I think it's awesome that you have identified a disatisfaction, and are doing something about it!! I'm a huge fan of people who embrace change and work to improve things for themselves, it's a much braver thing to do than many people realise!! <br />DxxDebbiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05664838363511139091noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6044399031300661767.post-43508643436366123772015-03-06T01:16:34.347+00:002015-03-06T01:16:34.347+00:00I have been through a very similar thing in the la...I have been through a very similar thing in the last two years. My kids are 19,17 and12, I too have been fortunate enough to stay at home with them, doing exactly what you have done. It's hard, hard, lonely work but I have loved every minute of it. I went back to school, a 6 month part time course to train to be a teachers assistant. I'm now working part time 4 mornings a week and love it. I'm still able to be mum, and wife but have my own time, job and name. I highly recommend it. xxBrendahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04449280936484382253noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6044399031300661767.post-78938049405977877002015-03-03T17:01:56.825+00:002015-03-03T17:01:56.825+00:00I just found your blog so this is a bit late, but ...I just found your blog so this is a bit late, but want to add some more support. My life was similar to yours in all the significant ways. When my children were entering their teens I was feeling much as you are feeling now, but my husband (he's older than me) took an early retirement and suddenly everything changed. I went back to college to finish an art degree, then was lucky enough to find a job and put the kids through college. After adjusting to being in class with fellow (and more accomplished than I!) students whose parents were often younger than me, I loved being in school, having interests, activities and goals outside my role as wife and mom. And I derived an enormous amount of satisfaction, fulfillment and confidence from my jobs. Although the children missed having me at home and available 24/7, I like to think they were positively influenced by seeing me establish a goal and work hard until it was accomplished. <br /> You are an obviously accomplished, intelligent woman with some important decisions ahead; don't be afraid to value yourself and set high goals.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6044399031300661767.post-71296884891032355712015-02-25T23:38:50.510+00:002015-02-25T23:38:50.510+00:00I've found your blog through crochet and can I...I've found your blog through crochet and can I say I kind of know how you feel. I won't go into detail but I sympathise with you about feeling lonely as I'm at home all the time due to a bad back. I'm married with no children. I hope you are okay and you are able to find a job or get back to your happy space. Your blog is fantastic. Hugs. xxJenz Bitz 'n' Bobshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02057278231166073894noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6044399031300661767.post-43364999355816196712015-02-24T00:34:53.317+00:002015-02-24T00:34:53.317+00:00I'm pushing ten years older than you, met my h...I'm pushing ten years older than you, met my husband at just 19, married him a year later, had my first child when I should have been sitting my uni finals, had three more kids by the time I was 30, home educated two of them, worked sometimes, stayed home with them all sometimes ... it was chaotic but it worked for me. I recognise the feelings you describe but they never lingered because there was always something else on the horizon, and I was always too busy with work - paid and voluntary -, studies, and family to worry too much about the boring, soul destroying stuff like sorting the bathroom cabinet. My advice, for what it's worth, would be shake them up a bit, leave them to do more for themselves while you do whatever it is you need to do to feel properly fulfilled. I may be writing about me here, not you ... but it's easy to fall into the trap of accepting other people's notions of normal and losing your individuality along the way. By the time they were teens my lot only had themselves to blame if their sandwiches were awful, they made them themselves and if they wanted cheese and chocolate spread together that was fine. A friend who hinted that that made me a less than perfect mother was soon an ex friend ... I suggested that she might be confusing love with encouraging dependency and she didn't like it. The time I saved not making sandwiches, etc. etc., I always did something fun with ... I joined a samba band once and had a ball ... there's nothing like hitting drums with sticks to make you feel better. It's a cliche but it's true that if you don't value yourself other's won't value you too highly either, so give yourself permission to get out there and do something different, even wild maybe, that will put your sparkle back (not that I'd noticed it was missing, but that's blogs for you). Annie Cholewahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17608057589525908147noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6044399031300661767.post-32763171875209770712015-02-23T16:47:15.840+00:002015-02-23T16:47:15.840+00:00I've so felt the same. I'm 46 and went bac...I've so felt the same. I'm 46 and went back to work full time 8 years ago after being home for 10 years. Im an estate agent and felt I was being pulled in so many directions and not doing anything right. Last year it all got a bit much and my sister forcede to go for counselling. I can't tell you what a difference it has made to my life. I wouldn't have if it were not for my sister but I can honestly say I am now the happiest I've been for years. <br />It won't be for everyone but it has helped me enormously and I would recommend it. <br />Good luck to you in finding yourself. You deserve it xxxAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08302154019837316222noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6044399031300661767.post-90645782921770482532015-02-20T08:14:56.742+00:002015-02-20T08:14:56.742+00:00I am so sorry to read about your struggles. I hav...I am so sorry to read about your struggles. I have heard this is a normal struggle that some stay at home moms go through. I am also struggling a bit with this. I will be praying for you. In search of Wisdomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10671007155139413286noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6044399031300661767.post-28935213497896947462015-02-19T16:51:40.397+00:002015-02-19T16:51:40.397+00:00Oh honey I'm a bit gutted for you to think you...Oh honey I'm a bit gutted for you to think you have been feeling like this. I'm glad you have made a decision to make a change for you, an unhappy Mother is not a good thing. I have always had the opposite problem, I've worked full time since I was 18 and only took 3 months off each time the boys were born. I would have loved the opportunity to have been at home with them but way back when that was not an option for me. I had years of guilt about it (I don't now) but never imagined what it might feel like from the other side. You're a gorgeous sexy funny creature and I know you can make whatever changes you like and will find your place in the world again soon. With loads of love and a snog xxxxKandihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05765946096687063480noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6044399031300661767.post-89914458730390041482015-02-17T08:58:14.818+00:002015-02-17T08:58:14.818+00:00Oh dearest Heather who would have thought, bit of ...Oh dearest Heather who would have thought, bit of irony there, as I know behind all the beautiful blog facades there are real women living their lives, it's just you always seem so calm and a woman who I thought I wish I could be a bit more like as you have fun and I didn't feel like I was. I think the best part of all this is your self-awareness, how awful to feel this way but not be able to point your finger to the source of it all. If I was your mate face to face I wouldn't talk this formally, writing seems to make me sound like I know what I'm talking about! My husbands actions lately have forced a change upon our family and at this stage I'm glad, it was the shake up we needed to be the people we should be, seperate but bloody good friends again. I'm. So really facing stuff in life is always the best way forward. I felt nervous going back to work after ten years at home but it soon faded away, I know feel nervous at the thought of applying for proper jobs, the ones where I. Supposed to actually know what I'm talking about. You'll do it all brilliantly you will honest injuns. Like you it was all about my family, even the bloody job I do is for them, I'd jack it in in a minute if my husband hadn't been such a dreamer who I supported. Best bit for me in all this is actually making friends with the bloggers and IG ers sharing numbers and talking on the phone. I'm off to meet a couple this week which I would,don't have done before and I even said to Abother last night who lives in France, we. Must meet in Paris. My sense of adventure is back again, it's scary if I stop and think so I'm not letting myself. So off you go and have fun you gorgeous thing. XBobo Bunhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14564557200579080645noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6044399031300661767.post-34025520451737571262015-02-14T02:25:00.800+00:002015-02-14T02:25:00.800+00:00I HEAR YOU LOUD AND CLEAR. I totally understand y...I HEAR YOU LOUD AND CLEAR. I totally understand your experience because it sounds almost the same as mine. I had a very hard time coping with teens who are now young adults and they do take you for granted. I've found that it's not an intentional thing, rather we've always been there for them and they don't know anything else. I went to see a counselor to help me sort out what was what. I started to feel resentful because they wanted more privileges yet weren't helping out at all. So we've gone through the long road of slowly teaching them that with wanting greater freedoms comes greater responsibilities which includes helping mum and dad. The other thing is that kids and husband just see you as mum and wife and not necessarily a person in your own right. Once again it's not necessarily anyone's fault that that is their perception. So it's a process of re-educating them that we/mothers are people too with feelings, needs, goals, frustrations etc. Through counseling I was shown how it is not wrong to ask for what we need from our family whether that be more respect for you as a person, some space for you and time to pursue some of your other goals outside the home. The thing is we mother for such a long time, put our heart and soul into it which is how it is but somewhere in there amongst all that giving, caring, nurturing, we can lose ourselves and our identity. What you are feeling is perfectly normal, it's a huge period of change when you children start to grow up and you start questioning your worth, what's left in life for you. As soon as our last child was out of school and into university (18 going on 19) hubby and I went on a holiday for two months visiting Italy, France and the U.K where I have relatives. It was the best thing for my husband and me as we had a complete break away from the kids. Of course this isn't something that everyone can do, we were very lucky. Like you, I had no support during my children's formative years as my parents lived interstate in Western Australia. Babysitting was basically non-existent unless we hired someone. Occasionally my sister would look after the kids but this stopped when she had kids of her own, with their own pressing needs. It is very easy to forget to appreciate ourselves and what we do so I suppose that is one of the first steps for you, to really think about what you are, what you do and how important it is not just for your family but for yourself. I do hope you can find something that gives you the chance to find yourself again. Sometimes we just need to be validated. Something else I have learned the hard way is to take care of my emotional, physical and mental needs. No one else can do that for me and we owe it to ourselves to have the happiest and most fulfilling life that we can. Wishing you well. Sending love and hugs. Anne xx<br />P.S. I'm a bit of a rambler so I hope all of the above makes some sense to you. :)<br /><br /><br /> I do hope you can find something just for you, something that makes you feel valued and respected.**Anne**https://www.blogger.com/profile/05595796965034742923noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6044399031300661767.post-60150429877519171362015-02-13T23:29:49.784+00:002015-02-13T23:29:49.784+00:00Well...you sound just about right to me. It is an...Well...you sound just about right to me. It is an interesting time of life in your 40s. I think it is a great time! And, I get what you are feeling, that your life may not be "enough" at this time. Teens are something else to raise and be around. On one hand they don't think they need you, on the other hand..they do more than ever! Perhaps a job will be good for you...and perhaps you will decide to stay home and work from there...whatever it is, I hope you are happy and content. And maybe a few girls away weekends would be a fun thing to do as well...let the man cope with the kids all on his own for a bit. Mummy needs to breathe....wishing you the very best! Sue.beachiesewshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14085416297463663450noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6044399031300661767.post-49245687347837270382015-02-13T15:46:38.712+00:002015-02-13T15:46:38.712+00:00Hi Heather,
I've recently come across your stu...Hi Heather,<br />I've recently come across your stunningly beautiful blog and have been enjoying it very much. So sorry to hear that you're feeling lost but thank you for sharing with us and what an amazing response you've had.<br />I'm a mum of two young girls and until late last year had been working PT for a national mental health charity until funding cuts resulted in redundancy. Having worked there for 10 years and putting my heart and soul into the role, I felt completely lost too. After many heart to hearts, grumbles and moans, long coffee breaks and planning sessions with my colleague (who was also made redundant at the same time) we had the wacky idea that we'd set up our own website to share what we knew, have learnt, experienced and researched believing that so many of us go through difficult times at some point in our lives. So Work Smart Work Savvy - the place to come when work gets crazy, was born. We're not confessing to have all the answers, we're not trying to sell anything, we just feel that none of us should have to feel alone. Our content is driven by conversations with our readers and friends hopefully keeping it real and topical. We have a mini docu soap weekly feature where a 40 something working mum mum opens her diary and questions whether you can ever achieve perfect work life balance without going crazy!<br />It's a twist in life that I wasn't expecting and one that excites and frightens me in equal parts but I guess sometimes as you have said you're doing, we just have to take the bull by the horns, make a decision and go for it. I wish you all the very best and can't wait to hear more about your adventure on Pink Milk.<br /> http://worksmartworksavvy.blogspot.co.uk/ <br />Fondest wishes<br />Lisa<br />Lisahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00025559124457846352noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6044399031300661767.post-63954151534228703842015-02-13T13:21:53.403+00:002015-02-13T13:21:53.403+00:00Hi Heather,
I wasn't a SAHM I have always had...Hi Heather,<br /><br />I wasn't a SAHM I have always had to work and I certainly went through a guilt ridden stage because of that, that I was somehow letting my children down but certainly the big three are all adults now with the youngest celebrating her 21st in just over a week. I definitely found it harder as they left home my little nest became very empty, I want to keep them all safe and under my wing but that wouldn't have been right either certainly not for them. They are all very grounded strong characters and I am very proud as to how they have turned out. Don't get me wrong I don't always agree with their actions and the directions they take and will advise when asked if anything I find this element harder to adapt to that you can't just kiss a graze better and stick a plaster on it as they don't make a plaster big enough. But all these things are part of life's rich tapestry aren't they and you can't put an old head on young shoulders. I think you will find getting a job whatever it may be very rewarding it will be something that you have done just for you and even though your family do value you there are times no doubt that feel a little taken for granted so this will give you the opportunity to do something that is just for you and you will be full of pride when that first time someone tells you they appreciate the work that you do. It will be a little scarey and yes you will get the terrors but it won;t last once you get settled and I'm sure with your talents it won't take you too long to find your niche. Lazy Days & Sundayshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00981937294479619947noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6044399031300661767.post-55646947737629103112015-02-12T21:43:31.358+00:002015-02-12T21:43:31.358+00:00I really wish you all you desire I think now it...I really wish you all you desire I think now it's time also to think about you and a good idea have a little job know new people I cross my fingers for you!!Gabri millecrocettehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11841451211269069866noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6044399031300661767.post-9609923880602079152015-02-12T14:38:50.536+00:002015-02-12T14:38:50.536+00:00I loved your post. I'm going to see if there a...I loved your post. I'm going to see if there are any groups around I can join I only really have church friends, so this idea is a good one I hope I can find some equally interesting friends as you have. Thank you xxAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09454051870297280445noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6044399031300661767.post-39629268727697350942015-02-12T14:22:05.165+00:002015-02-12T14:22:05.165+00:00Love this comment. You're so inspiring.
What...Love this comment. You're so inspiring. <br /><br />What interest you? So many things. How much time do you want to devote? Mm just these simple questions can be a start of a longer list to narrow down that vast world out there. Thank you xxAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09454051870297280445noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6044399031300661767.post-72222671149987962382015-02-12T14:00:30.140+00:002015-02-12T14:00:30.140+00:00You have just hit the prevebial nail on the head. ...You have just hit the prevebial nail on the head. I'm 45 like you been a SAHM and adored it but my youngest is 21 and like you I haven't any experience qualifications and have been thinking how do I go about a CV no jobs to write about! Experience at being mum doesn't count. Ok I can organise I have an HND in psychology. That's about it. And though I want to work it terrifies me as well, that's if I can even get a job? So I though mabe voluntary work can get me back in to the regularity of well work! Can't wait to see what you do with this and I hope that I too can repot bk something positive.. <br /><br />Good luck xxx<br />Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09454051870297280445noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6044399031300661767.post-62555445590636359102015-02-12T13:02:13.806+00:002015-02-12T13:02:13.806+00:00I am so far behind on reading my blogs but yours i...I am so far behind on reading my blogs but yours is one I follow faithfully - I'm not on instagram though I read your blog because I enjoy it. :) <br /><br />This all sounds very familiar to me. I'll be 49 in a few weeks. We've been married 27 yrs & have one child, our son who was married over a year ago. I did basically the same thing...stayed home with him living out in the country with one car so it was very hard to go anywhere. But it was my choice to so & I really don't regret it at all. It's just very hard when your pour your life into your family & things change. But think how much harder it would be if your children still needed you constantly at the ages they are?! So you've done a great job!<br /><br />I think everyone needs to learn how to be happy with just themselves alone. Here are some things that have helped me: 1)My faith, really that has been my number one help. -2)girlfriends, When my son reached high school I began making an effort to connect & grow close friendships. I could see the loneliness of the future & I wanted to help myself through it. I joined a garden club because I love gardening more than anything & I began making lunch dates at least twice a month with different girlfriends -3)Voice your feelings to your husband, really, the kids will grow up & leave. I often commented to mine that I was worried about what our marriage would look like when we were alone again. Voicing it rationally let him know what was going on & we both made changes to reconnect more - 4)a puppy, as silly as this sounds my husband bought me an 'empty nest' puppy & she has really helped give me a reason to get up on the very hard days...plus she gives me a lot to laugh about. -5) grieve, it's ok to be sad, to grieve over the changes & losses but don't just grieve. Be sure you look for things to be thankful for, the accomplishments of your kids, having time to try some things you've always wanted to try, ect 6) help others - really, the best thing to do when you're unhappy with yourself is to help someone who is in worse shape. If your efforts fail, try with someone else. <br /><br />Being sad & lonely is normal & sometimes we go through months of having a hard time finding joy but facing that helps us get through them & heal. You MUST give yourself something to look forward to. for me it was hard to do that but it's not impossible. Plan a once in a lifetime trip, remake a room, grow a garden, volunteer at a school or work with animals...all of these things will help you focus on the good in your life. <br /><br />One last thought is diversify. I think we all need to learn that having our life wrapped up in one thing or person is not good for us. If something catastrophic happens with that one thing it's almost impossible to recover. So join new groups that are totally separate from each other & make friends in different areas - I have garden friends, church friends, school friends, club friends, neighbor friends ect. I only have about three or four very close girlfriends but by making good friends in so many places means I rarely go out without bumping into one of them & that always helps me not feel so lonely. <br /><br />A long post but hoping you feel very loved from all the comments! :) Jennyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00305409125105992525noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6044399031300661767.post-23989458672781892622015-02-11T19:28:22.008+00:002015-02-11T19:28:22.008+00:00Hi Heather ...as others have already said ..you ar...Hi Heather ...as others have already said ..you are not alone. Another one here that is still 'searching' for something ?? You are so lucky to have some close friends to support you. Sadly I have none or family either. <br />I find your Blog very interesting, entertaining and informative and having the courage to write how you are feeling makes it even more ' Human' being vulnerable takes a lot of courage. Well done. May I suggest a book ? I am making my way through it................ called Madly in Love with me Christine Arylo Putting your self first is hard but you need look after You, then you are better equipped to help others. Take care my blog friend sending a Hug x (another first time poster ) snowbirdhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06598650491362381086noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6044399031300661767.post-31364665373384699742015-02-11T17:24:45.300+00:002015-02-11T17:24:45.300+00:00Hi Heather, I have sent you an email but I forgot ...Hi Heather, I have sent you an email but I forgot to mention that your blog doesn't lack sparkle at all, in fact I think it is always a very cheery place to be and it feels real. I always love visiting you here, it has a great mixture of themes and lovely photos.....have a lovely week, Pati xxAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13450087548964402430noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6044399031300661767.post-12534845114321950992015-02-11T13:26:06.394+00:002015-02-11T13:26:06.394+00:00Thanks dearest V. I really hope so. I know it won&...Thanks dearest V. I really hope so. I know it won't be very easy in some ways but I'm ready for the challenge. Something has got to change before I go stark raving bonkers! ;-) xxPink Milkhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05664644078460614884noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6044399031300661767.post-65290662706440610002015-02-11T13:22:36.074+00:002015-02-11T13:22:36.074+00:00Oh I do wish the same for you too Jackie. xxOh I do wish the same for you too Jackie. xxPink Milkhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05664644078460614884noreply@blogger.com